What to Do If Someone Ghosts You

Just when you thought you’d met someone special, you’re surprised when one day, they stop replying to your messages and answering your calls. The hurt that comes from it can be shocking, but understanding what has happened can help you heal from the pain. What’s just happened to you is ghosting, and it’s a common experience.

What Is Ghosting? 

Ghosting means to cut off all communication without explaining why to the person you were talking to. This is a relatively new term that has entered the current vocabulary, borne from the popularity of online dating. But this practice of behavior could have existed long before the world gave a name to it. 

The word is commonly used in the context of dating since the term originated in the romantic scene. But, if you think of it, ghosting also happens in friendships, professional relationships, and even with family members who swiftly exit without giving warning or even saying goodbye.

It’s termed ghosting since it includes someone who abruptly disappears like they were a ghost. 

Why Do People Ghost Others?

Many circumstances drive people to choose to ghost rather than have the human decency to end a relationship properly. One of the most common reasons is that they think it is the easy way out of a situation they don’t want to be in anymore. They might think that it is the easiest way to avoid the talk about how they cannot continue seeing or dating someone.

They might be the kind of people who lack communication skills or might be ignorant of how important talking is in ending a relationship. In short, they are people who lack bravery in dealing with someone else’s feelings, so they quickly halt all communication and expect that it is well enough to send their message. 

Or if you met them online, they might believe that they have more options out there. Other people make it so easy for them to juggle tons of romantic relationships at the same time. And, when they decide that you did not meet the requirement, they simply cut off all your communication channels with no bother.

Recommended reading: Hate Online Dating? These Tips Will Help You Love It

How to Deal With Your Feelings

Being ghosted can be incredibly painful. Why? You were able to experience something good, which led you to form expectations of the person and what the future could hold for both of you. You were able to feel something special, but it was all sudden, and someone just took it out without notice. And, all you want to do right now is to try to move past all the hurting. 

If you were just put in this position, you could be drowning in questions of why they did it. You question everything about them, your relationship, and even yourself. But you have to remember that being ghosted is never your fault!

Never let yourself drown in the thought that it was all you. Again, it was never your fault. You just happened to be with someone who hasn’t matured well to learn and understand basic fairness. Before you do something that you might regret forever, you also have to know why you feel that level of sadness. 

Most of the time, you hold that air of sadness not because of losing the person but because of the unexpected end of a relationship, however casual it may have been.

You may damage your self-esteem, and you might feel a little remorse and humiliation because you thought they liked you as much as you liked them. But then they quickly cut contact with you with no prior warning. Don’t worry; eventually, this thought will force you to do better. So stop prolonging the pain by not blaming yourself for what happened. 

At this point, you have to ask yourself, will trying to talk and hear from this person make me feel better or worse in the long run? Do you even need the closure you are insisting on? Because, most of the time, people regret forcing someone to talk and explain why they left. And hearing from them will only hurt you even more and damage your self-confidence.

How to Cope With Being Ghosted

Once you feel that you have been ghosted, you’ll reach the point that you want to do something. It could be a matter to support you in moving on or anything that will help you get the answer you need to discern. 

Coping with the pain was never made to be easy. Even if you don’t know the person well enough, it is understandable to feel the same pain level as if you were close with them. 

Here are two guides that will help you get through the event of ghosting;

Responding in text 

When someone ghosts you, you may always have the urge to text them whatever is in your head. But never let that happen to you. It will only make you feel ashamed of yourself. 

You must control all those hurts you have and try to think and construct the right and last text message you’ll send them. Keep in your mind that it should be final, with no other additional messages. It should contain just a few sentences to ask them what happened. Do not try to overload it with flowery words and go straight to the point.  

Here are some great text examples that you can mimic to send a powerful message; 

• “Hey! I haven’t heard from you recently. I am getting the feeling that you have lost interest in this anymore. All you need to do is to be up-front with me so I can know where I stand.”

• “Hi! I haven’t heard from you lately. Honestly, I’m not really sure if I want to at this point. I wish you were just honest if you were not interested anymore.”

• “Hey, are you doing good? I haven’t heard from you in ages. I thought we had an excellent connection. But, if you don’t feel the same way. All you need to do is say it. I understand that everyone is entitled to change their mind.”

• “Hey! Since I haven’t heard from you. As an effort to be open, I assume that this isn’t working anymore. However, if there was something I did, I wish that you could have been upfront with me.”

• “Hey! Are you doing okay? To be honest, I don’t want to assume anything right now. But I haven’t heard from you, so I take it that this isn’t going any further. Do be upfront if you don’t have interest anymore.”

• “Okay, I got the hint that you’ve lost interest. You could have at least given me a heads up. As an adult, honesty is the only option for you to say what you are feeling. But, instead, you chose the insulting and rude path.”

Learning to move on

Let’s face it, moving on from break-up, ghosting, or any heartbreak will never have the same look for everyone. It can differ from one person to another or from one case to another. Either way, here are some ways that can help yourself be brave and accept your feelings about being ghosted:

1. Learn to accept how you feel

Everyone will need to have a good cry. Let yourself feel the hurt that you have been hiding. It is going to be rough. You’ll see the worst of yourself, but put trust in that, and you’ll feel so much better quicker rather than denying you are hurt. You are free to feel embarrassed if you told your friends or family members how you enjoyed spending time with them. 

2. Do not put too much pressure on yourself about moving on. Accept and embrace the feelings you have right now.

Let all those emotions in, and from there, you can access your situation. Always be gentle with yourself and have some compassion for your feelings. Accept that whatever you’re feeling right now is a normal response to your circumstance. 

3. Get help from people around you

Asking for help is never a bad thing. Considering your situation, you need to talk to someone about how you are feeling. You are full of emotions, and that deserves to be justified. You can open up to your friends and family. Or, if you do not feel comfortable with that, asking for professional help will surely benefit you. 

4. Treat yourself

After all the days you have spent crying and lying in your bed. You might have forgotten to eat and sleep well. So, it would be best if you let yourself come back to the things you like. 

You can also start meditating, training, exercising, or anything that makes you busy and healthy. You can also treat yourself by shopping, spending time with the people you love. Slowly but surely, you will be in a better place.

5. Forgive and forget 

We all know it is easier said than done. However, don’t be afraid to let yourself go back into the dating game. Once you have fully understood your feeling, you will also feel a bit of compassion for the person who ghosted you. You do not have to rush the process after experiencing ghosting. You can take all the time you need. 

Conclusion

Listen, experiencing ghosting may not be the best thing that happened in the romantic aspect of your life. So you should not let the situation eat you. After all, you’ll be sorry for them since they’ve just missed out on someone great. 

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