Is It Ever Okay to Ghost Someone?
In the online dating world, ghosting has become a common phenomenon. Ghosting is the act of disappearing without a trace and ignoring messages and calls after you’ve already formed a connection. With the rising popularity of successful online dating sites like TrulyLadyboy, it seems that making and breaking bonds with people you just met has become easier and the thought of having to ghost someone isn’t as intimidating as it used to be.
One day, you’ll figure out who you want to date and hopefully share the rest of your life with thanks to all of the connections and matches you’re making on online dating sites. But what are you going to do with all the other fish in the sea whom you’ve made connections with? Is it okay to ghost someone simply because you have your heart set on somebody else? Perhaps worse, after a few conversations, you feel like you don’t match at all, so you’d probably want to steer clear from them.
Considering Ghosting? Think Again
If you’ve read this far, there’s a good chance you’re in one of these situations. You might be torn between staying in touch with them and ghosting them. This article will go into why we strongly discourage ghosting and the effects you leave on someone if you choose to ghost them.
1. It’s immature and cowardly
Don’t believe for a second that disappearing without any heads up makes you sound better than doing what you need to say. If you’ve ever been ghosted, you’ll understand how it makes you feel about the other individual. Ghosting makes you look immature, cowardly, uncaring about the other person, vain, arrogant, insensitive, and so on.
Ghosting is a cowardly and immature way of getting out of a situation, and it emphasizes your fragility and vulnerability as someone incapable of having a mature conversation. If you don’t want to see or speak with someone any longer, gather the courage to tell them. Do it without causing a stir or blaming someone. Tell them what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. Set the record straight. Unless, of course, if this someone has treated you poorly, crossed lines, or caused you to feel unsafe, then you can undoubtedly cut ties with them. Otherwise, they deserve to be respected.
They may not like you for being honest, but they will respect you. If ghosting on online dating sites is your thing, then you won’t get either.
2. You’re underestimating the damage you’ll cause
In addition to being concerned about how ghosting makes you look, you should consider the effect it might have on the individual you’re ghosting.
Ghosting can be detrimental in a variety of situations, including dating, relationships, as well as in business. When you ghost someone, it will make them feel disrespected, less deserving, or even worthless. And you know why? For the simple reason that ghosting is a means of social rejection. And the issue is that this may not be about them in any way, but about you.
Aside from what’s already mentioned above, there is also a psychological effect. When you ghost someone, you leave the other person in the dark as to why you did it, and they would have no clue on how they should respond. This creates a situation of uncertainty. And, since our brain despises uncertainty, it will attempt to overcome it by imagining all potential scenarios to develop a reason why you did what you did.
3. It’s just a rude thing to do
When you no longer wish to be acquainted with someone—whether it’s because your emotions have changed, you’ve changed your mind, or you don’t have that connection—it’s important to do the right thing and express that sentiment to the other person.
Unless they ask, you don’t have to go into significant detail as to why. They will then close the phase instead of obsessing about it for a long time, and you can feel as though you’ve handled it like an individual with values.
4. It isn’t beneficial to your growth
If you wish to be in a long-term relationship, you must learn to connect openly with other people, even in difficult situations. Genuine relationships aren’t all rainbows and sunshine, and they necessitate having tough talks and being open about emotions.
You’ll never be prepared for a real relationship if you continue ghosting people because it’s too difficult to have a serious conversation with them.
5. You make dating hard for everyone else, too
People who have been ghosted are less likely to date, making it more difficult for anyone to find their significant other. Treating the other people of the dating community with respect makes the experience more fun and less frustrating. What usually goes around comes back around, and the more ghosting you do, the more likely you are to be ghosted.
Read more: 9 Reasons Why The Second Date Is Always Better Than The First
6. You rob the other person of closure
You may believe the relationship is over, but the other party is completely unaware. You’ve put them in uncertainty until they see you with a new partner.
When you ghost someone, you aren’t really turning them down. You’ll leave them worrying about what went wrong and wondering whether you’ll ever show up again. If you’ve unexpectedly disappeared, the other person might even be concerned for your safety. It ultimately prevents the other person from moving on with a calm mind and an open heart, which isn’t rational.
Remember that giving someone proper closure helps keep them sane. Don’t make anyone wonder if something is wrong with them or any other possible explanations for why you disappeared without a trace.
7. It destroys any hope of trust
Ghosting gives the impression that you have something to hide. And, why should anyone trust you if you agree to be there for them one day and then don’t show up the next? Ignoring others and breaking their heart tarnishes your trustworthy image.
Apart from that, they can find it difficult to trust someone again. You will leave the other person shattered. How else would they trust someone else if somebody has already betrayed them? The worst thing a person can do to another is to break their trust. Not only will your trustworthy reputation be shattered, but so will the other person’s desire to trust others in the future.
8. You’re creating non-confrontational behaviors
Why is it that non-confrontation is a bad thing? Individuals who confront in a positive and sensible manner (think calm, controlled, and collected) are more likely to have their needs fulfilled. People who can state their needs and how they want them expressed (in a non-defensive and transparent manner) are more likely to receive them.
Being clear about your interests helps the other person in your life know you’re on the same boat, and it provides them the opportunity to tell you things you didn’t know before. Furthermore, since it’s so easy to stop talking and never be heard from again, it appears to be that individuals are adopting this habit at work, at home, in significant friendships, and genuine relationships.
Keep in mind that if you don’t communicate, you won’t get your needs fulfilled. Creating non-confrontational behaviors and allowing them to encompass many aspects of your life ensures that you will be less satisfied with any of them.
9. You shouldn’t drag anyone else into your confusion
Ghosting on online dating sites is pretty common now. We certainly understand if you want to ghost someone to end a relationship because you’re not sure if you’re happy in the relationship or don’t feel connected. That’s perfectly fine. However, it’s not fair to ghost someone because you’re conflicted; either tell them what’s on your mind or don’t enter into a relationship in the first place.
10. You’re leaving unfinished business
There’s an explanation why ghosts return and haunt when they have “unfinished business” in pop culture and myths. That’s because open ends can be harmful to one’s mental health. We never get to move on and recover because we did not have a chance to wrap it up, put it in a box, address our feelings about it, and then come back into the world a smarter and more self-actualized individual.
And that other individual has his own life, and he’s most likely to wait for weeks or even months for you to give him an explanation and apologize—which probably won’t happen if you’ve already ghosted this person. Remember to always leave on good terms with someone.
Conclusion
It’s never okay to ghost someone. According to Yehuda Borg, words are the most potent weapon that humanity has at its disposal. We have the option of using this power constructively by encouraging others or by destroying them. Words have energy and strength, and they can help, cure, discourage, injure, damage, humiliate, and humble people. Let us all make a choice to talk openly about our emotions and never leave someone hanging.
