What To Do if He Says He Isn’t Ready for A Serious Relationship
Timing is integral to relationships. When is the best time to make it official? When should you move in? Is it the right time to be intimate with each other? All these questions come up in a relationship, and they all involve knowing when it’s time to take the next step. But what happens when one party says he is not ready for a serious relationship?
Unfortunately, it’s common to wind up in a situation where you want to move things to the next level, but your partner isn’t ready and is dragging their feet.
They may have genuine feelings for you, care about you profoundly, and perhaps see a future with you, but that doesn’t mean they’re ready for a committed relationship with you. So, when your man tells you he is not prepared for a serious relationship, what does that mean for you, and what should you do?
Of course, different circumstances necessitate different responses, and your partner may have a logical reason behind not being ready. But the situation is so common that we have put together a full guide on how you should approach it logically and with love.
How To React To the News
You may believe that leaving is the best choice when your partner tells you he’s not there with you yet. But if you’re here reading this at all, you likely like this guy a lot and, despite hearing the infamous “I’m not ready for a serious relationship” line, you still want to continue going out with him.
It’s one of the most hurtful things you can experience when a man you like says he isn’t prepared to move things to the next level. It can also be a real shock, especially if you were lead to believe that you were both on the same page on the issue. It’s truly frightening how six simple words can evoke such a strong emotion. By the time you hear them say those words, you might feel dismissed and disheartened, your hopes of a bright future together broken and left for dead.
So, what are your options? Are you going to wait? Are you going to avoid seeing him? We’ve put together a list below to help you figure out what to do if he’s not ready for a serious relationship.
What You Can Do
1. Bring the Best Version of Yourself
So he tells you he isn’t ready for a serious relationship yet. So what?
Above all, you must seek happiness outside of your romantic relationship. If you’re not confident and secure on your own, a relationship won’t make up for that kind of passionate shortcoming. Stop seeking out the perfect person to be with.
Ask yourself if you’re perfect. Would you want to go out on a date with yourself? Perhaps you’re the one who is unprepared for a relationship if you’re deflecting on improving yourself by seeking someone out who is an ideal version of yourself.
Instead, make a life that others would like to be a part of. What are your favorite pastimes? What is something that you’re particularly enthusiastic about? Pursue what makes you happy. Join a sports team, take a cooking class, learn how to salsa—whatever it is that you want to do.
Not only will this make you happier, but it will also make you a more well-rounded and interesting individual. There is nothing more enticing than going on a date with somebody who beams with happiness when discussing something they care about. You will naturally draw more folks into your life if you exude that kind of optimistic and cheerful energy.
You will always be longing for adoration and dependent on others to give you happiness if you search for it outside of yourself. Consider it like this: You need a relationship to resemble the cherry placed on top of the cake. You don’t need to bother with it to be cheerful.
However, it’s certainly a reward. You will not make rational, wise decisions if you go into dating with a frantic and penniless attitude, and you will almost probably not attract a decent man. To sum it up, you need to bring the best version of yourself to find someone who is ready to commit to you!
2. Tell Your Significant Other What You Need
If you don’t want to break up, it’s best to communicate with your partner while working out where things are headed.
Likely, your partner doesn’t understand what you’re looking for. It might seem self-evident to you, but people can’t read minds. Don’t put your fate in the hands of luck. Connect with your partner without pointing fingers and assigning blame. Take the opportunity to be honest about yourself without dragging in any criticism. Keep in mind that relationships involve negotiations—ask your partner what they need, as well as what they believe you need.
Also, in some situations, your significant other might need something very close to what you require but could not communicate it effectively. Remember that miscommunication becomes more and more painful as time passes. Don’t let it control your life.
Recommended reading: How To Overcome Insecurity In A Relationship
3. Be Willing To Make Compromises
On the off chance that you and your companion want to continue seeing each other, there is likely an approach to make things work for both of you. While not everyone enjoys ultimatums, it’s likewise essential to compromise within a relationship to maintain a healthy relationship.
Relationships work because while the two people have different needs, they respect and value each other’s interests. They make genuine deals that can benefit them both in the relationship or offer something in exchange for something else.
What that compromise would look like really depends on the relationship you have. Keep communication lines open to give yourself a better chance of resolving the issue with a fair compromise.
4. Allow Yourself Enough Time To Make a Decision
Set aside some time to figure out the best course of action based on what you and your partner need. Give yourself a few months to decide whether you want to stay in a casual relationship with this person or move on to find a commitment with someone else. Don’t rush into making a decision just because you think you should.
When people are in a hurry, they become anxious about these problems. If you work out a plan and communicate with yourself about it, you will almost certainly make a wise decision.
5. Consider Their Side
Did your partner recently break off from a long-term relationship? Or perhaps they are going through something that has made them choose to take things at a slower pace? Is there a lot of work for them to do?
Keep in mind that there are other reasons to consider why he is not ready for a serious relationship just yet. Try to hang loose and take it easy for a while. It might strengthen your relationship in the long run if you remain patient with him and let him figure things out without pressure.
6. Make Him Work For It
When it comes to dating and relationships, people respect what they have to work for.
Let people know how you want to be treated with confidence. Men react to behavior, so you should show that he needs to engage and put forward an effort to earn your love and faith through your actions.
The sad reality is that many women praise the behavior they despise. For instance, when a man pulls away or appears to be uninterested, they chase him with the desire to gain his attention and acceptance. This brings down your worth in his eyes since you’re giving him something he didn’t work for. He will also get the idea that you’ll come running to him every time he pulls away.
When someone takes a step back, all you can do in this situation is to let him. Allow him space and demonstrate that you can stand on your own. In particular, make a point of meeting him wherever he is. This means that if he commits, you must also commit. When he backs off, let him be and don’t pursue him. The value of pacing cannot be overstated.
7. Embrace What You Have Now
While it’s normal to focus on the past and plan for the future, remember that the only time that matters is right now. So what if he says he is not ready for a serious relationship?
Suppose you devote all of your emotional strength worrying about where your relationship is headed or whether you’ll break up. Then, anxiety and negative energy will creep back into your connection with that person. You may not even know it, but you’re essentially jeopardizing the probability of having a happy and healthy relationship.
You build perceptions and unwittingly become attached to an illusion if you dwell far into the future. The most important thing to remember is to embrace what you have at this moment. Accept your vulnerability. That is what life is all about. If we’re always thinking about how our lives will go, then life would not be as fun as it is right now.
8. If All Fails, Learn to Accept the Reality
Don’t torment yourself if you want something more significant than your partner is capable of giving. In case you’re living on a course of events with a ticking clock that is getting stronger, you need to be wise when it comes to dating. In case you’re going out with someone who’s not on a similar timetable you’re, continue onward with your search for a better match. If this seems too difficult, bear in mind that dating someone who is on a different page than you will only get more complicated as more life decisions come up.
This is hard for some individuals since they would prefer not to acknowledge their real factors. However, dealing with anxiety when you need something and your significant other wants something else can certainly be a big problem in the relationship. If you both want different things, it’s best to accept the reality and move forward.
In summary, you can only have a healthy relationship if you learn to appreciate the present moment. Don’t be scared of the future. Consider it a fascinating journey full of possibilities and excitement. You have the whole planet at your disposal! It’s up to you to make your life what you want it to be. Remember the key points listed above if your partner says he’s not ready for a serious relationship just yet. Or you can simply unwind and enjoy the moment!
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