9 Reasons Why The Second Date Is Always Better Than The First

First dates can either be a piece of cake or a significant source of anxiety. In an ideal world, you’ll see if you can interact with this total stranger, get to know them a little bit, and then let them get to know you and go on a second date. 

But first dates are commonly bad experiences. There is too much pressure and anxiety surrounding the first date, and it results in awkward conversations, misunderstandings, and general discomfort. That’s why first dates aren’t great barometers for whether you and your date will have a good relationship. In fact, the first date shouldn’t discourage you from forming a relationship.

So should you agree to a second date? We say yes. Here’s why:

1. You’ll be more confident

Your second date is more significant than you realize because it’s the one that matters the most. You’re the artist on your first date and the decision-maker on your second. 

Putting the best work out there on your first date is essential but not always possible. The artist sees the crowd but not the faces; he or she sees the larger picture but not the details.

You’re more detail-oriented on the second date, and you’re able to go a little further—prepared to direct your attention somewhere. There’s a little less light and a lot more content. You’re likewise more vigilant too.

2. It’s an opportunity to reassess your mindset

On the first date, it’s not just about assessing the other individual. You must take a step back and consider what you bring to the table.

Is it possible that you’re being too harsh or just harsh enough? Is your view of this new individual being clouded by emotional issues from previous relationships? It’s time to make a decision about your judgment.

3. Show off who you are

The second date is when you can show off your true self. Contrary to popular belief, a first date does not reveal much other than the fact that you look the same as your online photo.

True chemistry requires more than a first date to uncover. You’re not as nervous this time, and since you’ve developed mutual interest, you’ll be able to show more of your true self.

4. Check if they’re still who they were on the first date

You may be searching for someone with a great personality or financial stability. Still, you should also look for indications of how much respect this individual has for you and others. So, how can you determine on your first date if this person will treat you well? It’s as easy as being on time.

A second date is a perfect opportunity to ensure that their first date manners don’t simply disappear after the first meeting. On a first date, everybody is on their good side, but if they continue to treat others, such as servers and cashiers, with respect and tip well (like they should), you know their personality isn’t catfishing you on the second meeting.

“Some people let their walls down as soon as the second date,” Wendy L. Patrick, JD, Ph.D., author of Red Flags: Frenemies, Underminers, and Ruthless People, says, “so you might get a glimpse of how you’ll be treated later.”

Always remember: someone who is worth your emotional connection is someone who respects people in general and values your effort and time.

5. It’s an opportunity for more attraction to develop

A second date is an opportunity for more interest to develop. Let’s say you weren’t overly smitten with this person on your first date, but they piqued your curiosity enough for you to want to see them again. 

A second date is important, particularly if you’re still undecided about someone after the first. After some time has passed since your first date, you will find yourself wondering differently. Do you constantly think about how they talked or how they handled something on the first date? Here’s your opportunity to see if there’s potential for the long-term.

After another date, you’ll be on better terms to evaluate the levels of chemistry. This is a sign you like them if you’re excited, pumped up, and maybe even a little nervous about hearing from them again or when your next date or interaction will be.

You might feel like you better understand the individual as a potential partner after a second date. And if you like them, you might want to be more affectionate at this stage with hand-holding or light kissing.

Recommended reading: The Essential Guide to Dating A Single Father

6. You’ll avoid any “what if’s”

Is there anything more unpleasant than regret? Getting caught up in the “what ifs” of past decisions will sap your happiness in the present.

So, if there’s even a slim chance you’re considering another date, go for it. You never know where it could take you. If an individual meets your non-negotiables, such as the essential attributes you want in a partner, and you feel at least a glimmer of attraction, then you have to go on another date.

If you’re still undecided about going on another date, consider the following three questions:

• Was there perhaps a tiny bit of chemistry?
• Did you have a nice conversation?
• Was the other person interested in getting to know you rather than making the date about themselves?

A second date would be an easy decision if you said yes to all three questions above. Did you answer yes to at least two of the questions? This suggests that date number two should be scheduled.

However, if you said yes just a single time or not in any manner, cut your misfortunes and proceed onward. Life is too short even to consider going on disappointing dates.

7. Your conversation will be more comfortable

One big challenge any dating person finds is starting a comfortable conversation. This is a common issue on first dates, as the sensation of being mocked and laughed at can be overwhelming.

Not knowing how to react and the thought that you could offend your date will prevent you from starting discussions.

Second dates are perfect for people who want to get to know each other better because they allow you to open up to each other. You could also discover how many similarities you have, bringing you closer together in the long run.

In any event, a second meeting will uncover the true person behind the individual you’re dating by indicating a higher level of conversation and a willingness to learn more about each other.

8. First impressions aren’t always dependable

It’s said that making a first impression takes just seven seconds, and to be honest, how much information can you get within this time – aside from the fact that his ass looks good in jeans and he has a perfect smile? 

The first date is rarely a pleasant encounter. If not both of you, at least one of you is apprehensive about getting yourself out there and meeting new people. There can be many new questions running through your head, making the dating process anything besides easy. When you’re feeling stressed like this, it’s easy to leave a wrong impression on your first date.

However, this isn’t necessarily an excuse to place the ‘X’ next to a person’s name after a first date since you might not get a good first impression because they’re anxious.

Understand that going on a first date can be off-putting and can cause many people anxiety—and that isn’t always a true reflection of who that person is. There may be considerably more to this individual than meets the eye, something you can see when you go on date number two.

9. You can put any uncertainty to rest

If you’re not sure whether or not you should go on another date, that’s reason enough to make a reservation. You wouldn’t be worrying about it if you were entirely certain that this was not a potential partner for you. 

You shouldn’t even be thinking about him anymore after the first date, and it’s not that you’re uncertain if this individual is right for you; it’s that you’re confident, and you’re sure that the answer is no. On the other hand, if there is any space for doubt or ambiguity, it means that there is always a possibility that this individual could be right for you; he needs the opportunity to build up and become more connected with you.

Conclusion

A second date isn’t necessarily less stressful than the first, but that doesn’t mean they’re easy. However, if you consider all of the above, you may find your potential partner. 

Love can be a gradual process at times, and it’s better to have given each individual the best chance to decide compatibility than to slip aside potential partners.